Brain Freezer 5K Race Report

I’ve been waiting for pictures because what’s a 5K that includes me eating a pint of ice cream with my bare hands without pictures? They are being slow on the upload, however, so I’ll write the race report instead.

Saturday morning was humid, reminiscent of my years in North Carolina, elephant on your chest humid. I ran a few miles to warm up (and make room) and was drenched enough to have to change my shirt before the start. Because it was the inaugural year, the start was about 15 minutes late and my warm-up didn’t exactly match up with the start time but I opted not to worry, since it was just a mile and a half before the break.

The course was interesting; the start screamed down Battery Hill, then back up Maple. The other issue was that the course wasn’t closed to cars or marked, leading to some interesting tangents and none of the leaders running exactly the same course. I opted to run the same course as the girl right ahead of me and we both escaped unscathed save for a traffic light in the second half of the race.

The start was absurd. A big group of runners lined up at the front despite not being likely front runners, leading to some unexpected hurdling and dodging. I managed to avoid a collision or fall as we jumped up curbs and stairs and barreled down Battery Street. Climbing Maple Street, I was reminded once again how insane a climb that road is. I focused on a hard, but controlled pace and reached the ice cream stop in a little over 9 minutes.

I intended to bring my own spoon, but we were assured that wooden spoons would be provided, so I arrived barehanded (well, with gloves on because of my Raynaud’s) and grabbed Cherry Garcia. Upon perusing the flavors, Cherry Garcia seems to have the fewest sharp edges to jam down or up as the case might have been. I attempted to use the plastic spoon but gave up after two tries as it was fruitless. Looking around, I realized that everyone else was ripping open the sides of their pints and using their bare hands, so I joined in. I was literally knuckle deep in ice cream and just shoving it into my face. At some point, I realized that a friend was video taping us and growled at her, “if this ends up on Facebook…” Somehow I managed to eat my pint in 3 minutes and 45 seconds and take off just after the first female.

Initially I didn’t feel too bad, although I was sticky and disgusting. I ran by a friend who was policing an intersection and all he could say was, “Waterman, you look disgusting.” I’m sure I did. From there, I spent most of my energy figuring out the course and closing in on the lead female. By the time we reached Battery Park again, I had contact but a kick seemed like a guaranteed ticket to vomiting, so I swallowed my pride and let her beat me by 4 seconds. I came in at 23:55.

It was fun to do something out of the ordinary and still get a workout in, but I don’t see myself signing up for the event again. I felt too awful for too many days after, even for charity. My next fun event is the Pirate 5K next weekend, where I’ll don an eye patch and a temporary tattoo and race around the waterfront. And yes, I’ll share pictures from the ice cream adventure when they become available.

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  1. Pingback: Brain Freezer Pictures, Finally! | Under Pressure

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