You can have it all, just not at once.
I’ve been in a hurry since conception. I arrived on a warm September day when I was supposed to arrive in late November and besides needing some time under the bili lights, I was surprisingly healthy for a preemie. Thanks to my September birthday, I went to kindergarten when I was 4. When I was 7, I wanted to go to sleepaway camp even though you had to be 8, so somehow convinced my parents and the camp director to let me go. It’s practically in my DNA to want everything all at once and I generally do a good job of juggling 100 priorities at once.
The process of scheduling my fourth year, however, is challenging this lifelong balancing act. Without going into the specifics, trying to schedule audition rotations, interview months, study for another set of boards and prepare to move our entire life plus attempt to continue to train and coach plus maintain a marriage and friendships is almost paralyzing. Unlike the first three years where UVM is essentially the only institution with whom we have to coordinate, fourth year requires coordination with 30+ programs who all run on their own schedules and time frames. This process is not one to half ass; what you choose for a specialty and where you choose to train is arguably a bigger life choice than choosing a spouse and significantly more difficult to dissolve if you make the wrong choice.
Over the past few weeks, I’ve worked myself into my share of tizzies over how to make this all work. I love medicine and feel so honored to have the opportunity to work with patients every day but I also love running, coaching my garden and my family. The thought of not having time to train or at least run regularly is unfathomable to me after almost ten years of consistent mileage and running. Not coaching my “girls” this fall isn’t an option. Will and I would also like to expand our family in the future, which raises a whole other host of issues in a field that is still not particularly welcoming to pregnant or parenting women.
Although this isn’t particularly running related although thinking about giving up high level running is part of my stress, this is certainly what’s kicking around in my head while I’m running lately.
What are you worrying about while you run lately? How have you achieved work-life-running balance?